What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

How do people move on so quickly? I’m still sprung over someone I was dating and he found someone else so fast. I feel hurt because I’m still head over heels over him while he’s out enjoying his life with someone new

True - how I loved my mum!

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Do you know what she said mum?

Why are girls supposed to have a stereotypical "hourglass" body shape, and why if you dont have an "hourglass" body shape you get treated differently? It doesnt make any sense to me.

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

What! how could you do that?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Why do atheists love to preach against Abrahamic religions and mock God? Even if they do not fear the eternal fire of hell, pious Muslims will certainly not leave them alone and will take brutal revenge until they surrender and repent of their sins.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

What do you mean son?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Are rich people harder workers than poor people as a whole?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”